Time certainly goes by so fast!! It has been almost one month since I have posted...woah.
"It's a new day, peace has come, Jesus saves, hope is here, raise a sound to let all the world know that Jesus saves, broken hearts can be remade, see above the storms of life..."
- Jeremy Camp
I constantly need to be reminded that Jesus saves!
The spring semester officially ended on May 23rd! It is hard to believe I have finished 4 years of college. The end of something, always means the beginning of something greater. Whether it looks like it is going to be greater or not; it is. "It is" because each opportunity is one that grows me mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and sometimes physically (LOL).
This Africa thing is really starting to get to me. This is something in which I KNOW will be greater than most things I have experience in life thus far. At our last family meeting last Wednesday, I admitted to my team that I was a little bit scared. They're eyes all got big and they stopped talking.
They exclaimed, "what?! YOU are scared?!"
I hesitated, "yeah..."
"But you have been before."
"So?"
Just because you have done something before doesn't mean it is not scary the second time around in fact, sometimes it is scarier. So yes, I am a wee bit scared. I am not scared about flying for 2 days, eating strange food, or sleeping in villages. I am scared about what God is going to do in my heart. I am scared for what He will extract and what He will inject. I know whatever it is will be vital to my maturing, but it will be hard.
This is the life I have chosen to live...one that is hard, yet brings more joy than I could have ever imagined. I know my Creator created me to be a variety of colors. Right now, I am full of some neon colors, but just like solar panels need the sun to generate the light, as do I need the Son so I can keep shining :D
I feel honored to be part of something so bright!
As I prepare in these next two weeks for the coming months I am anxious, yet hesitant. I want that day to come, but I feel a little resistant. I think it will be like skydiving (yes, this is kind of an abstract reference). Once you get strapped up in that garb and up 13,000ft in that plane you ARE jumping out. There is no other way down. You just jump. Oh the adrenaline that pumps faster than you fall, my oh my it is thrilling. I am anxious to feel the thrill of this trip. To feel the challenges as well as triumphs of leading my team, and experiencing things greater than myself.
When I think about the things that make me hesitant (some of which I mentioned previously) all I remember is that Jesus saves. He has saved me, provided the way to Malawi, and is going to bring me home with a new heart and a clear mind for serving others for His sake.
I will admit I feel a sense of loss. I feel like I will lose the summers I have known: spending time with my family, best friends, wakeboarding, camping, river adventuring, sprinkler running, shooting star finding, etc. But, "to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Phillippians 1:21).
Huh. What the heck is she (me) talking about you ask? Yeah, that verse sounds a bit contradicting eh? The way I see it is this: truly living is living for Christ. Dying to myself means that I gain Him and lose myself. I'm pretty jacked up as an individual so I hired Jesus to piece things back together lol. Actually it takes all of me to LET Jesus break me, and then piece me back together. He is "peaceing" me back together as well.
I have a bit of packing to do. It is kind of hard to pack for two months. I currently have an ongoing list of what to buy. I am not only thinking of me, but also my team. I am creating their packing lists as well and have to critically think about what they will need and what I will need to keep reminding them of. Luckily, God knows. He knows what we need, what we will bring, what we will forget, and will continue to provide!!
Please pray for me and my team. Please pray for clarity, direction, guidance, travel safety, renewing, and cohesiveness. We are in it for the long haul and coming out of this summer I know I will have three more best friends :)
Love Always,
SC
